: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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