You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
