He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
