So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
