atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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