So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
