I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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