my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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