This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
where are my eyebrows?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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