I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
