In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
