Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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