Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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