i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
