So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
