she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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