plz talk dirty to me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
