just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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