i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I wish there were birth control emojis
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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