omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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