thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
