I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
