it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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