And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
