I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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