Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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