Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
