i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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