Sry I called you an 8
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
...so i touched it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
