Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
