well I can't set my house on fire every night
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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