Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
