Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
