I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout