the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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