the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.