SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..