do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
whose parrot is this?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
