Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
