Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
