I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
