I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
time to smoke my breakfast
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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