Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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