We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
