fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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