based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
