Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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