Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
