Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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