we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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