It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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