I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
