Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
