Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
