I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
