just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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