Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
