Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
