smell my finger.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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