she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize