Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize