community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
