I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Tornado booty call.. dedication
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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