i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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