i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
