I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
